Thursday, January 15, 2009

Suffer the Children because of "Adult Mess"

Adult Mess. That is the reality that is forced upon many children because of the actions of the so-called “adults” in their lives. They become part of situations and actions that they had nothing to do with nor ask for. This has angered me as I watch the daily new stories where children lose their lives or their lives are put in danger because of the choices the adults make for their own lives.

Last year I became enrage upon learning of the death of Julian King, the 7-yr-old nephew of Jennifer Hudson. From the interview where his mother made statements that made me question her culpability, to the photos she posted on her MySpace page, to the monsters that took Julian from his house and put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger, everything that Julian suffered was due to “Adult Mess”.

Or just before Christmas when two children, 9-year-old Carla and 6-yr-old Perla Gonzalez burned to death in the basement of their Southside home while their mom had her butt out somewhere watching her boyfriend play pool. Adult Mess!

Or last week when in the 600 block of North Spaulding three young children under the age of 18 months were found living in an unheated, lacking water, dressed in just coats and basically abandoned building, all that they suffered was because of their parents decisions to put them in that situation – ‘Adult Mess’!

Or turn on The Maury Show any day of the week and children are the intended victims of their parent’s stupidity as the public watches the whose-your-baby’s-daddy show. In X number of years, every one of those children will be the fodder for jokes as people play the recordings of those shows for the ‘children’s benefit’!

Adult Mess is not limited to Chicago. In New Orleans, we have the case of Ja' Shawn Powell whose sin was to be born to a mother who used poor judgment in picking a sperm donor for a father. The father rather than pay $4000 in back child support picked two-yr-old Ja' Shawn up for the “weekend” and then is alleged to have slit the 48 pound boy’s throat and let him bleed to death. “Adult Mess!!!”

Or little Caylee Anthony who for weeks was the subject of numerous cable shows wanting to know where she was only to have her head found by a cable repairman who went into the bushes to relief himself. A baby dead not given the benefit of a decent burial soon after her death because of “Adult Mess”!

While watching Family Court with Judge Penny the other day, I watched as a man waited until he was 60-years-old and was the father of two boys ages 12 and 7 to decide to have a sex change. His children’s world was rocked. A family broken up by divorce, loss of a “dad” replaced by his new identity “Aunt Emily”. As their young minds had to deal with trauma at all levels, all I could do was watch in bewilderment and think - Adult Mess!

Just this week as I was writing this column, we had another story of a young child Alex Angulo, 4, who was mauled to death by a Rottweiler. Alex was at the home of his foster family. His death was caused by a multitude of failures. His birth parents who created a child that they lost seven days after he was born, the foster family that kept dangerous dogs that eventually killed him and the DCFS system that put him there – Adult Mess!

We have grown into such a “me” society that adults seem to be oblivious to their role in raising and caring for children. Raising children is a JOB. It is a JOB that parents undertake when they partake in sex with no regards to birth control. It is a job, an adventure, an obligation and a morale responsibility. It is not a “when I feel like it” position!

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